let’s talk bookish | nonromantic love matters
Hello again, dear friends! I hope you are all well, and if not then I hope brighter days head your way soon! I’m running late in posting, but today I’m back with another Let’s Talk Bookish post! This time we’re discussing a lovely topic: nonromantic love in literature! I love this topic because I myself have lots of varieties of nonromantic love in my own life, and those relationships are equally as important to me as romantic relationships! So let’s not dilly dally any longer, let’s dive right in!
Let’s Talk Bookish is a weekly bookish discussion meme created by Rukky at Eternity Books and now hosted by Aria at Book Nook Bits and Dini at dinipandareads. This week’s prompt is…
nonromantic love in literature
It’s the month of love but it’s not always about romantic love. What are your favorite non-romantic relationships to read about (i.e. siblings, parent-child, etc.) and what do you love most about them? Do you prefer to read about them over romantic relationships? What books would you recommend with your favorite non-romantic relationships?
I honestly adore seeing nonromantic love of all kinds in books! I think a lot of the time, at least here in the West, the stories we tell (be it in literature or in movies, TV series, and/or video games) often prioritize romantic love and devalue nonromantic love, much to the detriment of our collective and individual health and wellbeing. And then we wonder why there’s a “loneliness epidemic” going on. So, even though I do love a good romance, when I do happen to come across literature that places equal or greater importance on nonromantic love as compared to romantic love, I celebrate seeing it!
I think because I come from a single parent household and don’t have any siblings, the type of nonromantic love I enjoy the most is found family, because I relate to needing to find and choose your family in a nontraditional way! I also love that this type of relationship shows off just how important friends can be in your life. In my experience, friends can definitely be your “soulmates” too, and I love that this type of relationship in literature often demonstrates those kind of bonds. I’m really happy to say that as a fantasy fan this is the type of nonromantic relationship I encounter most in books, and it always makes me so happy to witness! My favorite fantasy books featuring this type of relationship include The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi and Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. I also love Heartstopper by Alice Oseman, which is a queer contemporary romance that also has a great showcase of the concept of queer found family and community.
Even though my family is small (but mighty! lol), I do really enjoy seeing familial relationships in literature, whether it’s parent/child relationships, sibling relationships, extended family relationships, or a mixture of those. A book I read which features a good example of this was actually Dragonfruit by Makiia Lucier, which shows off the relationship between the book’s love interest, his grandmother, and his cousin. It was really nice to see that show of a nontraditional family unit and the complex but deep love between its members. Another book that has great familial love representation is To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han, which not only shows off fun and dynamic sibling relationships, but also shows off a really healthy parent/child relationship in a single parent, mixed race household. I think one of the things I love about this type of relationship is that there are so many configurations and variations it can come in, which shows off how complex, dynamic, and intertwined familial relationships and love can be!
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spill the beans, friends!
What are your favorite nonromantic relationship types to see in literature? What books do you recommend which show off these types of relationships?
I love seeing platonic friendships of all kinds! I think it’s important for kids to see you can have supportive friendships with all types of people without having it turn romantic – I feel like platonic friendships in books tend to be trotted out like side characters and it’s only the “romantic” ones that are properly developed, and it’s a bit of pity for me. Or maybe I need to read more MG
I 1000% agree! I wish strong friendships were represented more in YA and even in Adult fiction. I know that, even as an adult, I wouldn’t be able to survive without my friends—they’re so very precious to me and integral to my life!! I think one of the things I loved about Six of Crows is that, while there are romantic relationships, we also get to see different friendship combos and dynamics within the group, which was refreshing and lovely! But it’s definitely difficult to find other books like that, and it’s a shame!
I also think that showing more major nonromantic relationships in media is so important! That’s why I love found family so much as a trope 🥰 I also love The Gilded Wolves as it highlights both romantic and platonic love 😊